When I was asked to write an article on how grandparenting has changed since I was young, I quickly came to the unsettling conclusion that I have approached this important role in a passive and unconsidered way. It was a truly sobering reality check. I had wrongly assumed that as a father of four and a pediatrician, being a good grandfather would just come naturally – “Yeah,…Nah!” (A Kiwi colloquialism)
Although I grew up in a family that highly valued our elders, my experience of my grandparents was affected by two realities. Firstly, my dad, a diplomat, travelled the world and we had the privilege of accompanying him on many overseas adventures. My paternal grandparents, however, were Fiji based, and my maternal grandparents were in New Zealand. Although they were monumental figures in my estimation, there was no emotional and little relational connection of substance with any of them due to the tyranny of distance arising from the career and professional choices of my parents.
A second factor that formed my view of grandparenting was the era and culture of these beautiful folks. They held that children, once beyond the cute stage, should be seen but not heard.
This was my “norm” on grandparenting until recently.
Last year I journeyed through an unexpected cardiac ‘event’. A typical medic, I was minimising some early signs that all was not right with my health. I was ready to meet my Maker if called. However, the cry of my eldest – finally pregnant after years of trying – was quite arresting: “Daddy, I want my daughter to know her grandfather!!” I was deeply convicted of my responsibility to steward this temple well so as to be around for my family (wife, four grown children, grandchildren) as well as for ministries to which the Lord may call me.
In a day where families are often scattered across the globe, I have been impressed by the rare instances where multiple generations are living (intentionally) near one another. This inevitably involves a degree of sacrifice on behalf of some family members but the richness and depth of relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren helps develop faith-filled and resilient children in a world that presents many challenges to the Christian worldview.
At a time when many children walk away from the faith of their parents and grandparents, and where the stability and integrity of the family has come under increasing tension, there is an opportunity for grandparents to be intentional about their God-given role.
This year has taught me two things about grandparenting. The first lesson is that maintaining my health must be a serious priority. Secondly, I need to consider exploring more opportunities and better ways to be present to my progeny.
May the Holy Spirit be our ever-creative guide and inspiration!
Soli Deo Gloria! (To God Alone Be the Glory)
Dr. Viliame Sotutu and his wife Raylene live in Mount Isa, Queensland, Australia
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