Most of today’s grandparents are part of the “Baby Boomer Generation.” Many of these Boomers are trapped by stress. Boomers are going bust responding to the needs of their aging parents, their friends, their children, and their grandchildren. They find it hard to be a caregiver, a good friend, a faithful parent, and a strategic grandparent. They manifest “caregiving burnout” to four generations.
When you are physically and emotionally exhausted, “strategy” (or sanity) is usually the first thing to go. Everything is a top priority to a crisis-weary manager. Serious stress is a signal that your soul needs a Sabbath. It becomes a disaster when the battery in your fire alarm is dead but the fire is very much alive. Burnout happens.
Pause and evaluate your own situation. Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not much) to 3 (a lot) for each statement.
- Emotional signs: I find myself becoming easily irritated with small things. My fuse is short! [ ]
- Physical signs: I have persistent fatigue or headaches that don’t go away with a night of sleep. [ ]
- Mental signs: My brain is “foggy” and I am often unable to concentrate. [ ]
- Spiritual signs: My intercession is just a “to-do” list and my worship time is spent in distraction. [ ]
- Isolation: I have no time for friends but I waste time on digital escapes. [ ]
- Loss of Joy: Things that used to excite me now feel like “just one more thing I have to do.” [ ]
Interpreting Your Score
6-9: Green light. You are likely managing your roles well. Now is the time to build “resilience habits” before the storm hits.
10–11: Yellow Light. Your tank has a leak. It needs to be fixed now. It’s time to prioritize and delegate this week.
12-18: Red Light. You are probably carrying the burnout virus. You need attention. You cannot be a spiritual nurse if you are a physical casualty.
Note that a score of three “3’s” is an automatic red light!
Three Strategic “Rescue” Steps:
If you scored in the yellow or red zones, try these four adjustments immediately:
- Give yourself permission to say “no” or to step back for a specific period. Look for one or two things you can stop doing or that you can delegate to someone else.
- The “Micro-Sabbath”: Schedule 20-60 minutes a day where you are “off-duty.” No phone, no caregiving, no chores, no computer. Just you and a cup of tea or a short walk. Get your brain-rest.
- Speak to a trusted friend and say out loud: “I am overwhelmed.” Bringing burnout into the light is the first step toward healing.
- Jesus tells us: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Mt. 11:28-30). Do it!
The Grandly Perspective
Sometimes, the most “strategic” thing you can do for your grandchildren is to take care of yourself. It is a joy for them to be around people who smile and are not stressed. Model peace, calmness, and reliance on the Lord in the face of anxieties.
Mike Shaughnessy is the Founder of Grandly and changed some habits due to writing this article.