The Virtues: Obedience
Beginning with this post, we will present a series of articles focused on virtues. The word, virtue, comes from the Latin word, vir, which simply means human. A human is meant to be virtuous; having high moral standards.To be “manly” is to be morally excellent.
Cicero, the Roman philosopher, had this to say regarding virtues: “The reward of a virtuous act comes in the doing of it.” Often summarized as “Virtue is its own reward,” when I act in a virtuous manner toward another, it benefits both that person and myself.
In this first article, we will focus on obedience because it is the foundational virtue; the beginning of the virtuous cycle. Learning to be obedient to what is right and true trains us to grow in other virtues such as patience, kindness, and honesty. The first step is to learn to obey Mom and Dad and then learn to obey the moral laws and thus develop other virtues.
One of my goals as a parent is to train my children to be obedient. This is not always easy, but it is an important lesson to be learned both for their own safety and also for creating a peaceful home. Obedience at home will set the stage for being obedient in other environments as well (schools, restaurants, etc.) and for creating right relationships with other authorities (teachers, coaches, etc.). Do I like having to constantly use the words “No” or “Stop”? Not really. I wish my children were all born with a fully developed and highly functioning conscience, but they are not. Teaching obedience requires consistency and patience.
In our world today, there is a great variety of parenting styles. Parents my age are bombarded with all kinds of different methods, beliefs, and skills that can be used to raise their children. It is often difficult to know which approach is right and which is wrong or which would work best for our family or for a particular child.
This is where my children’s grandparents (mainly my own parents for me) have made a difference by being supportive of the methods I have chosen. Together we have built a good dynamic in which they are aware of their role of being a complementary part of the team. They reinforce me in my position as parent and they simply love me and my children well. My parents have been helpful in their contributions by both modeling obedience and encouraging me in my approach to teaching it to my own children.
Grandparents, reflect on this…
- Do you know your role in the family?
- Do you have opportunities to help your grandchildren grow in obedience?
- Are you able to discuss with your children how best to be on the team and foster this virtue?
- Do you often pray for your grandchildren to be virtuous people?
I have found that when children learn obedience properly and fairly and know their boundaries, they feel happy and secure.
Pili Abouchaar is the mother of three and the Executive Director of Grandly Missions.