God runs the universe differently than I would: He gives us freedom right out of the womb. I wouldn’t! If it were up to me, I would not give people freedom until they were at least twenty-six years old. Consider how many bad choices could be avoided by that delay in conferring freedom.
God gives us a fearful level of freedom. He allows us to shape our temporal and eternal destiny individually, and by doing so, He dignifies us greatly. He has not given such dignity to anything else on earth. Most of His creation, a rock, for example, has no ability to choose anything.
Rock one: “I’m thinking we should just sit here for another millennium.”
Rock two: “Thinking? What’s that?”
Even higher mammals do not have the ability to choose as we do. I had a dog and though she could opt to chase a squirrel or a rabbit, she did not have the ability to base her choice on reason.
“Squirrel or rabbit? Well, I chased a squirrel yesterday and didn’t catch it. Sorry, rabbit, Looks like it’s your turn today.”
My dog didn’t know how to think through her actions. She couldn’t sit on the porch afterward and bark her wisdom about squirrels and rabbits to her puppies.
We, on the other hand, can make decisions about right and wrong, good and evil, and what we should do, every day. Not only are we born with a fearful freedom, as we get older that freedom becomes more and more powerful. As a baby, I had little power to reject my parents. That only occurred to me later. Did you ever run away from home? I did when I was seven. I made it next door for about half an hour.
By the time I was eighteen, I was making decisions that would affect the rest of my life. I chose what college I would attend and I was responsible for paying my own tuition. I was now making adult decisions. I had friends who made some very bad choices that had significant long-term consequences, many of which were not good. Given the chance, I would make some of my own decisions differently today. I’m sure you would too. Fortunately for me, God guided me and gave me unsought help. I didn’t see it then, but I do now as I look back at my life.
I have seen much in my many years as a youth worker. I have learned that everyone’s story is different. Some are beautiful, gradually-unfolding stories of increasing faith, hope, and love. Some are heart-stopping roller-coaster rides. Perhaps you have a troubled grandchild who is on this same ride today.
You don’t get to control what your children or grandchildren choose. You can, however, help them handle their freedom to make wise choices.
This article was adapted from the book, The Strategic Grandparent, by Michael Shaughnessy. You can buy it online here.
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